Survey Results

Thanks to all ten of you out there for responding to this important survey. Those of you who will be attending our wedding will be happy to know that in some small way, you might have helped to shape the day. And here are the results--some surprising, some not so much--from this well-researched, scientifically created wedding survey.

It seems that 9 out of 10 of you enjoy attending weddings. And I have a feeling I know which one of you responded negatively, H.G. (But you more than compensated for that negative response with your most romantic response to the one thing that would make the event enjoyable for you; we'll keep it between the two of us.)

It's a good thing that most of you would prefer to be eating hors d'ouerves and finger foods, because that's the plan. Even if all ten of you had selected fried chicken and potato salad, I don't think we would have changed our minds.

Most of you don't like having to wait at the reception while the bride and groom are photographed for several hours, although a significant number of you don't like the whole unity candle thing either. Not to fear--you will experience neither at the Selden/Gysen wedding.

And Target? Really??? Because I hate the Target gift registry. Usually by the time I get there to buy a gift, there's nothing left except the handheld can opener or the toilet cover. And no one picked Younker's? Because that is my personal favorite. And I may just have to choose it so that you all have to use it and come to realize that it's a far superior system to Target. I guess I can do both . . .

And thanks for the suggestions to make it a more enjoyable evening. I especially like the game at the table idea. Maybe we can find personalized playing cards with our picture or new address on the back. I also like the wedding party bio suggestion--it adds a little creative spirit to the wedding program. (And H.G.--yours was the sweetest--at least I hope that one was yours.)

And I have to tell you all that personalized jars of honey have become a real possibility. Although Katie's a little disappointed that the lip balm didn't win.

I'm not sure what songs you will hear at the wedding, but I do promise you that none of those mentioned will be heard.

And finally, thanks for sharing all of the good and bad things about your weddings. I'm really thinking that I will be echoing the person who said that it was a perfect day, and there was nothing he or she regretted.

Finally, I'm so glad that all ten of you agreed that the clinking of the glasses is a silly tradition and will not be in play at the Selden/Gysen wedding. We enjoy kissing each other, of course, but it does seem to get a little out of hand at most weddings. Maybe we should ask guests to pay for the privilege of seeing us kiss. That would probably slow things down.

Thanks again! I'm thinking there will be more surveys in the future of this blog.

Survey Monkey

Today I discovered this great new e-toy--Survey Monkey. It's so much fun creating your own survey, and it's all for free! I don't think the developers of Survey Monkey intended that people should goof around and create silly surveys just for the fun of it, but if you put a service on the Net and offer it for free, what do you expect will happen?

Anyway, this is the second survey I've written today, and so please, please take it. I guarantee that it will at least make you smile, and you might even chuckle a little too. So only 150 of you can respond, or I will have to pay. I'll be sure to post the results, and if you offer up a particularly creative response to one of my questions, I promise to publish it right here on my blog.

The topic? Something I've found that nearly everyone has an opinion about: weddings. There are only ten questions, and you won't have to think very hard. And you may influence some of the decisions Henry and I make about our wedding. Probably not--but maybe. Thanks so much for participating. Just click on the link below.

Click Here to take survey

If I Were a Font, or What's My Type?

I took an e-seminar on blogging today with blog expert Joe Wikert. This is probably the most enjoyable piece of information I took away from it. What kind of font are you?

Gavin's Voice

I've added a new blog to my list of "other interesting sites": Gavin's Voice. Gavin's mom is the blogger, and her site is just a marvel of inspiration and information. Gavin's family goes to our church, and the journey they have all been travelling the past year and a half is an amazing one.

Gavin was born in September 2006, the fourth boy in his family. Unlike his three older brothers, however, Gavin suffered complications and was diagnosed with Down syndrome. He had all kinds of health problems (heart defects, at one point a stroke), and spent most of the first year of his life in the hospital both in Ann Arbor and here in Grand Rapids. It's not clear how much Gavin will be able to develop; he's continued to suffer seizures for sometime, but thankfully has enjoyed some respite from them the last few weeks. And yet, he's taught all of us who have followed his story so much about faith in God, courage, perseverance, and how God continues to care for His people in the storms of life.

Actually, we've learned a lot from Gavin's mom, Alicia, and his dad, Joel, too. And his three older brothers make us smile from time to time with their boy mischief and humor. If you're looking for some inspiration, some insight into what it's like for a family with a special needs child like Gavin, and some adorable photography, check out Gavin's Voice. He and his family are among my favorite super heroes!

A Valentine Story

It's Valentine's Day, and--I can't believe this is true--but the most romantic story I know of at the moment is the one I'm living. So in tribute to love, romance, and Hallmark holidays, this is our story.

Our story actually began about two years ago (I'm not sure exactly when) when my pastor asked if I would be interested in meeting someone. I was still recovering from the previous disappointing relationship, but I said sure. I had heard of Henry before--a couple of different times his name had come up as someone that I should meet--but to this point no one that we both knew had seemed really driven to bring us together. The prophetic words of one friend still ring in my mind: "The girl who gets Henry is really getting a good one!" Truer words were never spoken.

When Henry didn't call, I really didn't give it much thought, and if I did ever think about it, I was usually more relieved than anything that he hadn't called. I had decided that I had experienced enough disappointing relationships and had had enough of dating. I was putting the whole dating thing on hold until Katie and Jonathan had grown up and moved on. Then, when I would be the only one to experience the trauma, I might explore the whole thing again.

So honestly, when I picked up the phone on a July evening in 2006 and heard, "This is coming out of the blue. I'm a friend of your pastor's," I was almost a little disappointed. Since I didn't know why so much time had lapsed between my pastor's asking and Henry's calling, the thought that went through my head was that I had given my word some time ago, and I should probably just have dinner. What harm would it do? We'd go out a couple of times, and then Henry would decide that being a bachelor really was what he wanted to be, and the whole thing would become a memory that would fade quickly. (Later I was to find out that even though my pastor had talked to me months previously, he had only talked to Henry about a month before he actually called.)

So Henry picked me up that Saturday evening, and I was impressed. He brought me flowers, and we had dinner at Carabba's. He opened all doors for me and behaved in the most consistently gentlemanly way I've ever seen. I was impressed--not smitten--but impressed. I remember thinking that I enjoyed our conversation. And when he brought me home, he asked if I would be available to go out for dinner the next week. I was a little surprised. Usually the next step would be a meaningless offer to "call sometime." Here was someone who was willing, on the spot, to commit to next week. I actually wrote him a thank-you note for being such a gentleman. Such demeanor was rare in my experience.

And so we continued. Every week Henry would bring me home, and every week he would ask me if I was free the next week. And I (even though I wasn't always sure why) would agree to see him. The truth was that I was surprised that he wanted to continue to see me; I was even keeping track of the number of dates that we had gone on in my planner at work.

Probably a turning point for each of us came on Labor Day. It was a beautiful, end-of-the-summer day, and both Katie and Jonathan were busy doing their own things. I steeled my nerves, called Henry, and asked him if he'd like to have a picnic. He seemed glad to do so, so I picked up some sandwiches at Panera, drove to his house, and then we went to Palmer Park. When we were finished eating, he asked me if I'd like to go on a hike. I was a little hesitant since I wasn't really dressed for it with my shorts and cute sandals. We decided to take one of the less challenging trails, but somewhere along the way the signs with the arrows disappeared, and I found myself, cute sandals and all, up to my knees in mud. Always the gentleman, Henry cleaned off my sandals at the first opportunity. Both of us were bleeding--branches had cut our legs. But it was hilarious. I realized after that day that Henry was someone who knew how to have fun, and he said that he realized that I would be willing to follow him anywhere.

And so we continued. We both played it very low key. We didn't talk about our dating relationship to others much, and we didn't go to church functions together. We weren't trying to be secretive. I think we both had the sense that this was between the two of us, and whatever happened needed to happen between us first without the input of others. And I was careful to keep Katie and Jonathan uninvolved until I believed there was reason to involve them.

On Memorial Day 2007, I invited Henry over for a cookout. Things went well, and it was sometime around then that I started inviting him over on Sunday evenings. It was during the summer that our love began to grow and we began to realize that this was something that we both wanted to last. And the kids began to get to know him as we'd all sit out on the patio on warm Sunday evenings, talking and laughing and catching fireflies.

By the end of the summer, I think we both knew that things were pretty serious, and now it was a matter of biding our time. We did start attending church functions together, and people began to realize that we were a couple. In fact, when Henry and I attended a dinner together at his church, an older lady came up and hugged him when she saw that we were together because she was so happy for him. Henry is very popular with the older ladies in his church.

And so on December 21, 2007, after almost a year and a half of dating, on an evening when we were celebrating Henry's birthday, he presented me with an engagement ring as we sat on the couch in his living room. He asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. To this day--unless something unusual comes up--he brings me roses every week. We go to dinner on Friday nights, and we always will. I continue to marvel at what an excellent man he is, and I continue to ask God to make me into a wife that always brings Henry joy and provides true help as a blessing to him.

It isn't a dramatic love story, and no movie executives are offering us a contract for it. In the eyes of the world, easing into love as we did is not nearly as exciting as falling in. But since God wrote our story, it's a pretty good one, and I'm anxious to see how the plot will continue to develop.

The End of the Story

When last I left you, dear readers, Jonathan and I were huddled under afghans, surrounded by tissues, thermometers, and half-filled glasses of liquids. Poor Katie was finding any excuse possible to leave the house in order to avoid catching the plague.

The story has a happy ending. Jonathan and I are well on the way to recovery. I returned to work on Monday, and he would have gone back to school yesterday if there hadn't been a snow day.

And the best news: Katie remained healthy and sang fabulously at district solo and ensemble contest (one Italian piece and one American folk song) Saturday morning, received a 1 rating, and qualifies for state competition if she chooses to go. And as you can see from the picture, "Cinderella" did make it to the ball Saturday night.

Henry has also remained healthy, but the one sad aspect of this story is that due to disease and inclement weather, we haven't seen each other since Friday night. The way things stand now, I won't be seeing him again till this Friday night. Let's hope he stays healthy and the weather cooperates.

Sick

There's actually a reason I haven't been blogging this week, and it isn't just because I didn't have anything to say. I'm on day three of not going to work because I've been sick, and it really hasn't been much fun, even though, unfortunately, it has become a mother-son bonding experience.

I felt it coming on Tuesday. Somebody at work said, "What's up with your voice?" And I'd had that just-not-quite-right feeling and took some Ibuprofen a couple of times. By Tuesday night, a cough had set in, the aches were pretty apparent, and my voice definitely had that gravelly sound. Henry was over that evening, and I warned him to sit at the opposite end of the couch. (He didn't--and now I've been panicked ever since that he's going to get "it.")

By Wednesday it was full blown, and when I called the office to say that I wouldn't be in, I'm sure the pathetic sound of my raspy voice convinced the listeners at the other end that Annette, in fact, was one sick person. And poor Jonathan suffered through an entirely wasted snow day for him on Thursday because he woke up with symptoms just like mom's. Headache? Yes. Sore throat? Yes. Just generally achy? Yes.

And poor Katie, with a solo and ensemble vocal competition Saturday morning and a homecoming dance Saturday night for which she has had a dress for a very long time, lives in fear and pops Echinacea like candy.

It's been a less-than-amazing week at the Selden house. And yet, this too shall pass.


As Henry and I discussed friends who face much more serious illnesses, we both agreed that a nasty little virus was not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. And as a result of a trip to the med center Wednesday night to rule out bacterial infections requiring antibiotics, I realized that I now have, for the first time in a long time, an emergency contact person other than my mom and dad--Henry. And in a weird sort of way, that's a nice thing. The other nice thing has been having him call --not to ask what's for dinner or if I can still do something for him--but to ask me how I am (and not just so he can gauge how likely it will be that I can do something for him). For kids, parents never really get THAT sick.

So the weather outside is frightful, and the atmosphere in our house is currently filled with germs and the sounds of coughing and sneezing. But, like every other year, the snow will melt eventually, the air will warm, and spring will come. But for now, I think I'll just take a nap.